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Monday, January 23, 2012

LIFE

I am very proud of my wife for expressing herself and putting herself out there. It has inspired me to do the same. It hasn't got much easier this year. Honestly I think this year is the hardest so far. As days go by its harder and harder to want the day to start. Yes I am depressed,stressed and just plain exhausted. I just wish that i could make things better for my whole family. Make eli better so the amount of angst would be less. Get some people locally to hang out with. I used go out for hours and just hangout with random people. I could call people and people would call me and we would just talk. That doesn't happen anymore. It hasn't for a very long time. At first it wasn't such a big deal as time goes by it gets worse. I don't know i just hope it gets better for all of us. This funk of ours just sucks. Gotta figure out how. Day by day. Minute by minute. It is a rough journey.

Today we started some new things in the house. We got up and started a new exercise program. So far I feel that it is so much better than the old one. I can totally feel it. Maybe its because I am so out of shape.However I don't care the reason I just want to see the results. I know I can feel them. I also have started doing my protein drinks again. I am loosing a lot of weight again. No matter what i do I can't gain to a healthy weight. I hope it works. My fear is that it may not. A few years ago I was at a weight of 103 and my healthy weight is about 135. I am about 114 lbs. I am going to try it for a couple of weeks before changing anything. Heather has been very supportive in this journey. She knows how upsetting it is for me. We are also putting in place some new ways of handling behavior issues in the house. So far it seems like it is working. Will keep you updated.

If you haven't yet try to smile and find something positive today. I have.

Monday, January 16, 2012

A year in review

Holy cow this year has flown by so quickly. I started to think of all the things that have happend in the the last 12 months and what I want to do differently in the new year.

Well in January Eli ended up in the hospital and got a port. Heather and I got married. The happiest day of my life. So many people helped make it a very enjoyable day. Heather looked so beautiful in her dress and I got to have all the things that I wanted in a wedding. it was one of the few things that the hospital was able to help out with that was positive. Then we had a stent at CMH for eli. He nearly died. So January was a roller coaster of emotions.

February Ari turned 4.Kids were really sick. Eli was still in the hospital got out around the 14th. Trips back and forth to KC for more specialist.

March came test results for me. I was diagnosed with IBS GERD and RA super awesome. We also finished up the planning for eli's trip to atlanta. It was an exhausting month and very emotional.

April wow so many tests and so much to get organized. We went to Atlanta and met with the leading dr of mito. Very nice guy. Very rough to see our tiny man go thru all of this. Eli struggled on the plane and we almost got grounded and had to find another way. Since that experience he has been grounded no more flying for eli. I got a job moved away from my family. It was the hardest things i have ever done. I know that it was the right thing but totally wasnt easy. We made that decision for mr E.

May Heather and the family started to get all done for moving at the end of the month. We got to see Josh Groban. It was an amazing experience. We got to talked him and he talked about eli before a song. It was very sad to hear. The song was awake.

June ben turned 6. We got the results of our trip to atlanta. It was very surreal. We were pretty sure that he had it but seeing it in print was very over whelming. More job interviews. No success. Very disappointing. Kids had VBS and Emily had girl scouts camp. She had alot of fun.

july another admit for eli for low blood sugar. stress and more stress. It gets very overwhelming to have to deal with. No job was getting very frustrating no finding something. I remember it was wearing really thin. heather started a job helping with moving. I remember thinking i am glad she was able to find something to help out. Wish i could.

august Jaces 8th birthday. More test for eli nuero and mri. Gotta love doctor appointments. Also the kids first days at school at their new school. we start ti eat vegan. We found out that ben is allergic to egg dairy and gluten.

September this month was mito walk work. We spent most of the month getting prepared for the mito walk. We handmade all of our shirts and had a great turn out with all of our friends.

October i turned 35 and emily turned 11. We had a garage sale and raised some money for the mdf. not much happend this month. Eli had a few moments were he didnt feel good. But for the most part did pretty well.

November good old thanksgiving, eli there was many calls and changes. We went to wichita for the holiday. It was very different since we are vegan. We had a very good meal. We cooked all day. Very exhausting.

December was christmas. It was very stressful and very interesting. We had family come up from wichita. It was nice to see them. Eli got really sick and ended up in the hospital


As you can tell life last year was and interesting and stressful. Obviously this was a brief overview of the year. This year i have some resolutions that you would think would be easy to meet and do however with our busy life it may be easier said than done.

Resolutions:

1 Have more fun. Do more with the family that is fun. Have family movie days or nights. Game day or nights. Family is important and I feel i have done a pretty good job with the kids just not as much fun as i think i could do.

2.Take more of my wife's advice. She is a very smart person and when I listen and take her advice things run smoother. I am less stressed and things get done.

3.Take some downtime for myself. This is a hard one however Heather tells me all the time that I need to do it. I am good at telling others to do it but not so much for myself.

4. Reconnect with people in my life that have been away to long. Thanks to Heather I have started to get reconnected with my mom. It will be a slow and steady process however I miss my family and friends.

5. Find some simple pleasures in life. I am not always wanting simple things. I get bored easily. I have to take what I can get because sometimes there just isn't enough time to do more. There is one that I love doing and I hope to get more of it. Being with Heather just hanging out. Playing a game,watching tv,talking, knitting or all of these things combined.

6.Finally blog and use facebook more. There are so many people out there who follow our journey and want more information. There are some that are not on Heather's list but on mine. Everyone deserves to be kept up on whats going on .

What are your resolutions? Have a happy new year