Friday, January 7, 2011

Today and all its ups and downs

Today has been one of the harder days. Why you ask well we as parents need to make some decisons that ultimatly could help or hurt eli. His hospital doc came in and we talked about our options. She wants to start him back on pedilyte and elecare tomorrow. Everytime eli gets anything goes into his j he gets very soar. She thinks that if we give him a trial run(which we did a couple of days ago and didn't do well) for 24hrs it may kinda reset his bowels. We are not totally sold on this idea. We have seen him in so much pain and discomfort we don't want to see more. However if it works we won't have to go home tpn or have to be transfered out. But if it doesn't work she wants to try a formula called neocare. Which takes up to 10 days to get and we have no clue if it will work. And even if we were to get transfered 3 or so hours away no guarentee they will be able to help either. Our delima is should we let them do it even for 6 or 8 hrs to see what happends or just say no. Then we have then what.

We say the flurosopic team really nice guy we have used him before. He changed the gj tube, checked for spasms,which he didn't see any he also made sure that everything he could see he looked at and said it was fine. He did however find that the balloon wasn't fitting close to his stomach. He says that was the reason for the leakage. He just couldn't say for sure why eli was uncomfortable when somethings are put into the j. He thinks that maybe spasms. After we started to leave and eli started to be in alot of pain. Humph no way to fix it. He then had diareha all day.

I feel helpless. As a man i have no control over what is happening to my little man. I cant help him feel better. Its so hard to make the right descion not knowing if it will hurt him and make him worse. I feel terrible cause i am having such a hard time trying to help make a decison with heather. I kinda feel like im letting eli and heather down. It really sucks. I'm supposed to be the strong one. Heather hasn't said anything about me not being there or not being strong or anything negative like that to me it's just the way i feel as a husband and father. I hope it gets easier however i'm afraid it won't.

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